I had seizures from about the age of 19 till I was in my 30’s. They came on sudden, but became more violent through the years. I had every test imaginable and more. I had some abnormal brain activity…well, more than what would just cause “dinginess”, but doctors were baffled by the uncontrollable seizures that overtook my life. I was diagnosed with depression…well, who wouldn’t be depressed? Afterall, my life consist of being unconscious most of the time. Not a fun way to live life. I had other things going on during that time and in earlier years, that eventually was diagnosed as Lupus in 1998. Because I have been seizure free since about 1996, I do not know if the seizures were part of the lupus. I am just glad they are gone, and want to share what I did to get here.

I do know the pain and agony that comes with epilepsy. I have felt the pain in every aspect, as well as the total discouragement that they bring. Doctors were at wits end with me, and many simply blamed some psychological phenomenon on what was happening to me. I remember the night that changed my life. I had hit my bottom with seizures, and all that goes along with them. I had been scheduled to be evaluated in Arizona for the surgey that removes part of a person’s brain to prevent seizures. I went and was denied the surgery. I was devastated for it had been my last hope. I went home and prepared to die. Well, I just did not care anymore. I know that there are others who have had that feeling too. After a few days of my giving up phase, I suddenly realized I had to do something in my life to make myself feel useful, something that would allow me to contribute to society in some way. The other alternative for me was suicide. It had gotten that bad for me.

I don’t remember calling, but the next day I picked up the phone and heard a voice that literally would be the beginning of my road to life. It was a massage school, confirming my plans to enroll. Divine intervention? God does work in mysterious ways. I guess I never knew I wanted to massage for a living, but said yes to the voice on the phone.

I attended Massage Therapy school in Albuquerque, NM. It was a rough beginning for everyone involved. I continued to have seizures, and disrupted class quite often. The head honcho wanted to kick me out at times. I wanted to kick myself out at times as well. But I continued, and thankfully there were people there that were about to become a part of a plan that noone could ever imagine.

There was a teacher, who has become my best friend, who helped me in so many ways during school. While you attend massage school, you give and recieve massages as a way to learn. Well, it became apparent, that the massages at times made me seize, and other times, helped stop the chaos. It seemed to depend on what kind of massage and through who’s hands it was received. This became very interesting to me as well as to those trying to help me.

I used a combination of massage, herbs, homeopathy, craniosacral therapy, and using the support of friends to conquer my seizures. In future blogs, I will begin to try to share this miracle as I remember it piece by piece.